Siblings To Get Along

What causes of sibling rivalry:-

When children believe that there's not enough of what they need. They may feel they have to compete for parents' attention, affection, recognition, or time.


What perents should do:-

1. Don’t play favorites.
2. Avoid comparing one child to another.
3. Listen to the children's complaints to get clues to what the "rivals" believe is in short supply: "Dad always hugs Kendra first!"
4. Let children know you understand their feelings even though you don't agree with them: "Yes, your brother needs more help getting dressed than you do, but you are just as important to me as he is."
5. Spend some time alone with each child doing something he or she really enjoys: taking a walk, reading stories, playing catch-10 minutes a day for a week can do wonders.
6. If one child says unkind things to you about another, remind him that "she's still one of us". That response reassures the child that he would still belong to the family even if a sibling had ill feelings toward him .
7. Do not worry about treating all your children exactly alike. Children need comfort, help, and encouragement at different times and in different ways. When a child questions the attention you give to her sibling, reassure her that when she needs help, you will provide it.
8. Get over being angry. Communicate with your sibling how their actions are hurting you. Stay calm and clear in your communication.
9. Compliment one child anytime he or she shows kindness, consideration or empathy to a sibling. Give immediate but appropriate praise.
10. Help your child to see the advantages that come with age and development (e.g. more time with perents for younger sibling and more priviledge and freedom for older children).
11. Avoid trying to decide who start the fight. Usually all children involve have responsibility. Giving consequences for all children can avoid fights in future.
12. Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete. For example, have them race the clock to pick up toys, instead of racing each other.
13. Plan family activities that are fun for everyone. If your kids have good experiences together, it acts as a buffer when they come into conflict. It’s easier to work it out with someone you share warm memories with.
    
    
    Source Website: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/; http://www.med.umich.edu/; http://www.ehow.com/; http://www.brightfutures.org/

Childhood Stress - by Kidshealth

Signs and Symptoms

1. 
   
   Short-term behavioral changes. e.g. mood swings, acting out, changes in sleep patterns, bedwetting.
2. 
   
   Physical effects. e.g. stomachaches and headaches.
3. 
   
   Have trouble concentrating or completing schoolwork.
4. 
   
   Spend a lot of time alone.

How to help kids cope with stress

1. 
   
   Quality time is important, make time for your kids each day. Whether they need to talk or just be in the same room with you.
2. 
   
   Show them they're important to you. Play with them or just talk to them about their day. 
3. 
   
   Find out what may be causing it. You can come up with a few solutions like cutting back on after-school activities, spending more time talking with parents or teachers, developing an exercise regimen, or keeping a journal.
4. 
   
   It will also help if we prepared kids for potentially stressful situations. For example, let a child know ahead of time that a doctor's appointment is coming up.
5. 
   
   Let kids know that it's OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious.
6. 
   
   When kids is unwilling to talk, try talking about your concerns and we are available to talk with when they're ready.
7. 
   
   Books can help young kids identify with characters in stressful situations and learn how they cope. Check out Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst; Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert, Chuck DeKlyen, and Taylor Bills; and Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown and Laurene Krasny Brown.

Web Page: http://kidshealth.org

6 Useful tips to get closeness to your child - by 吴娟瑜

1.  Daddy and mommy, please squat down when talk to me.

2.  Please let me feel daddy's and mommy's love when hug me.

3.  When daddy and mommy feed me, please be patience with me and wait until I slowly finish chewing.

4.  Please don't keep yawning when daddy and mommy read storey to me.

5.  When other people praise me, please do not decline.

6.  When daddy and mommy leaving, please don't leave quitely.

Traditional medication for Measles from Ah Ma

When Jay at about 9 months old ........

Just grind the leaf and apply it on the body. The medicine will cool the body down and ease the itchiness.

KL Road Trip Preparation

Yeah! our 1st family road trip......KL



I get some help from the Internet and search for the tips for my 2 restless sons' 4 hours road trip:-
1) Buy a DVD player - so we bought portable DVD player and some new cartoon CD.
2) Prepare a goody bag - tidbits, sweets, fruit drink, new toys.
3) Road trip game - Cootie Catcher, Road Trip Bingo, Road Trip Scavenger Hunt, etc...
4) Bring reading books & Old toys

The Ways to Deal With a Sore Loser Kid

From the same article:-

1. Since children who are sore losers often have unrealistic expectations of themselves, one of the best things parents can do is to help them set goals that emphasize effort and improvement, as well as winning. Those goals might include passing the basketball well during the pressure of a game, or swimming two lengths of the pool nonstop.

2. Look at the subtle messages you're giving your child about failure. Many of these are unconscious and therefore very difficult to recognize. For example, if you have a big celebration when your child's team wins a game, but you just say, "Well, you tried," when they don't, you're teaching that you value winning much more than effort.

3. Talk to your children about some of your own frustrations. Sore losers often worry that anything they don't succeed at will be shameful to their parents. This concern is compounded if they never see or hear about how family members handle disappointments. Don't feel you have to talk only about sports. Discuss how it felt when you didn't get the lead in the school play or when you got turned down for a job you really wanted.

4. Let your children practice losing as well as winning. Consistent winning of games at home may set up unrealistic expectations for when they play with their friends. Don't let your children win all the time. Remember that they learn some important lessons from disappointment. It will make it easier for children to master the skills they need to recover emotionally and move on.

5. Encourage your children to keep trying, even when they're frustrated. If bad losers don't feel they can be successful at an activity, they nay not do it at all. Letting children know that you'll be proud of them simply for trying will often give them the incentive they need to redouble their efforts. If they persevere, they may find that they can master what they're been avoiding.

6. Use television and newspaper coverage of sports to help children explore their own values. How would they feel if they fell during a skating competition or ski race? Why are the people who have no chance of winning competing? Our children need help interpreting these issues, just as they need adult guidance interpreting the pictures of war that they see in the newspaper or on the evening newscast. If you're watching an event like the Olympics or a marathon race, point out people who are having fun or who are doing better than they had in the past.Encourage children to focus on the changes in their own performance and skills, not on the number of games they win. Focusing on performance and skills is, after all, what professional athletes and other successful people do.

The Reason of Our Child Become a Sore Loser

My eldest son is a sore loser and I am so worried about him as he has put a lots of pressure to himself to win. So I have try to find a way to change him and I have found an article about it from http://www.drkutner.com/parenting/articles/sore_loser.html by Lawrence Kutner Ph.D. as follow:-

The reasons for becoming a sore loser might be:-

1. They worry about what others think of them if they don't win, or feel that winning is what make them good people.

2. Bad losers have more trouble than other children in making and maintaining friendships. The difficulty with friendships increases their feelings of worthlessness and, therefore, their need to win.

3. The reasons for becoming a sore loser rest in a combination of genetics and environment. More commonly, they get from their families, teachers, and the mass media. Children watch how their parents handle things when they're frustrated. Some children who are sore losers have parents who are sore losers, who teach through their actions that getting angry is the best way to handle frustration. Even well-meaning questions like, "Did you do your best?" can unintentionally give some children a disturbing message. If they didn't do their best, they worry that their parents or coaches will view them as disappointments. If they did do their best and still failed, then perhaps they are hopeless.

The sign of TOO FAT...haha

Jay sleep until his bouncing net steel got a big crack ....... Is this the sign of TOO FAT???

Formular 1 Race - Nic Vs Jay

Fight for Mother Love & Attention

Fighting for my attention or love???

Children Through Tantrum - Ways to Avoid

Through tantrum is very common for children at about age of 3 but it can be avoided if we know the course of it. In DK – The Science of Parenting book, bad behavior like tantrum might be due to:-

· Tiredness will course imbalances in autonomic nervous system so the natural calming mechanism no longer function well.

· Hunger will disrupts kid hormones. If blood sugar level falls, kid body will releasing stress hormones.

· Suger & Sweet. If eat chocolate & sweets on empty stomach, the sugar level will go sky high & the sugar level will boost within 10 – 15 min. than after 30 min the sugar level drop. This will course Hypoglycemia.

· Food Additive. Some additives reduce level of dopamine & noradrenalin in brain and course hyperactive behaviour.

· Low in DHA. DHA from fish oil (Omega 3 Fatty Acid) will boosts serotonin levels. If low in DHA level, kids will have temper tantrums, sleep problem, behavior problems & learning problems.

EQ Parents Talk by Professor Lee - Part 2

Example Case 1: Always give clear, direct instruction.
When your kids trying to run across the road. Our immediate reaction always shout " Don't run across the road". WRONG. Professor Lee said this is like the Lemon theory. When you keep repeating the lemon than they will think about lemon even though you specifically ask him not to. e.g "Don't think about lemon, don't ever think about lemon, don't think about the juicy lemon......" What are you thinking now "Lemon" right?

Correct instruction is "STOP. COME BACK"

Example Case 2: Question with Doubt
Normally when we go back we will ask question like " Have you finished your homework?" or Have you taken your bath". Try not to ask this kind of questions as your kids might not happy that he feel you always doubt on his ability and he reluctant to answer your question.

Correct asking is " I am sure you have finished your homework already right?" This way he happily answer your question " Yes, I finished already" or he will feel guilty if he have finished and tell you which one he haven't finished.

Example case 3: Bad Comments
A lots of parents never say good comments about their kids in front of friends or relative. They will always said " Aiya him ah very naughty, never listen to me......" or "He so stupid, homework never finish, exam so bad...." This way your son will think since you say I am naughty, stupid, ..... than let it be. He just accepted what you said and doesn't need to work hard for it.

EQ Parents Talk by Professor Lee - Part 1

I just wanted to share some interesting points from the talk I attended yesterday by Professor Lee on EQ Parents - No shouting, No scolding, No Beating Teaching method to your young one from age 0 to 13.

As a parent, we need to always handle our kids with 3 steps (Have to do all 3 steps, cannot skip any step):-

(1) Loving heart 爱心
(2) Punishment 惩罚
(3) Praise 鼓励

Loving heart. We have to show our kids that we love him by hug , kiss & tell him everyday that we love him. Children cannot read our mind, most of the children have bad behaviour or run away from home is because he think that we don't love him.

Punishment. The punishment only to make our kids uncomfortable but not to scare him. E.g. If a eldest son beat the small one than just ask him to stand facing the wall for punishment. He will feel ok at first but on 2nd or 3rd times he will feel uncomfortable, bored, tired and he would not do it again next time. But to start the punishment we have to start with 1st explain, 2nd warning, 3rd only take action.

Praise. After punishment have to follow by praise. This is to tell him that even though we punish him but we still love him. Praise him that he is doing a good work. Tell him"Thanks and don't do it again" or tell him that his writing is beautiful after the writing punishment.

I will continue more on others later..... few interesting case study.

Nicholas Got Minor Blunt Head Injuries .....So Worry

Last night at about 8pm, Nicholas slip due to water on the floor (and yes, its Jay urine). He fall down very hard and knock his head on the floor & chair. He cry so loud ...... :(

After that he got cold sweat and complain he got headache & not feel good. He even vomit later. So worry... But Grand-ma (retire staff nurse) said its OK and if nothing happen in 24 hours than he is find. I still worry, than I search internet and its say:-

Minor blunt head injuries may involve only symptoms of being "dazed" or brief loss of consciousness. They may result in headaches or blurring of vision or nausea and vomiting. There may be longer lasting subtle symptoms including, irritability, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, and difficulty tolerating bright light and loud sounds. These post concussion symptoms may last for a prolonged period of time.

When to Seek Medical Care
Emergency personnel should immediately attend to all potentially serious head injuries.
Call the doctor to ask about any of the following situations. Your doctor will recommend home care, set up an appointment to see you, or direct you to go to a hospital's Emergency Department if:-
a) A person is pushed to the ground or struck a hard object with the head but did not lose consciousness
b) Vomiting more than once
c) Confusion
d) Drowsiness
e) Weakness or inability to walk
f) Severe headache

Nicholas donnot have all this symptoms this morning. I guess he is okay than. Now only I can breath.

Reward to Nicholas for 3rd Place in Class

Nicholas is a "Kia Su" kid. Even he is 3rd in class he might not happy about it. So we wanted to let him know that as long as he work hard on his study, he's entitle for a reward.

We let him choose the reward. To go to the Sunway mall playland or the Monsters Vs Aliens movie. He choose movie.

Jessen bring him to the cinema at Jusco, Prai City. Than bring him to the Virtualand to play some games after that.

Jay fell down

So heart broken...... Jay fell down on premix road while playing at outside of the house.

I know it's unavoidable for a kid like Jay which is so restless but still cannot stand seeing he cry so hard.

Luckily Jay is a very tough kid. He cry for less than 5 minutes than can even crawl with the swollen knee. Haha....

Selection of Water Container

Recently bought for Jay but bad choice. When he drink the cover actually touched his forehead or eye.


So we replace with this one that is much better. Got to thanks to Jay's chek chek as the container is from him.

Jay 10 favorite reading books

I always believe that reading interest can be built by introduce our baby with books that's colourful, with music, rhymes, etc ...........

I think I am quite successful with that. Now every night I have to ready at least 10 books (some got to repeat few times) to Jay before he want to sleep.

Check out the 10 books that Jay like the most (From most to least).

Jay B.M.I

I have wait for Jay check up to get his weight & height for B.M.I reading. So yesterday I got his height which is 81cm and his weight is 12.1kg.

The B.M.I calculation is Weight (kg) / height (m) x height (m).

So Jay B.M.I is 12.1 / 0.81 x 0.81 = 18.44

What ........ below 18.5 har........ UNDERWEIGHT!!!

Award to Nic (got 10 times 100% in Chinese Spelling)

Sunway Carnival Mall new playland - CYC Mega Kiddie World

Nic wanted so much to play in there since it open. To make him stop asking every time we go to Sunway Mall, I told him "You can go if you got 10 times 100% in Chinese spelling"

Now he got 10 times 100% and I bring him there yesterday. (I have to keep my promise)

The ticket is so expensive......RM15 (for Nic)+ RM3 (for me). RM2 for stocking if you didn't bring your own. In weekend is RM18.00 + RM3.00

That's why daddy & JJ cannot joint us and have to wait at out side...... so pity

Now...... what they have in there......

Pic 1: A keyboard that can play music & light up when you step on it. Nic is very excited.....

Pic 2: Knock the spider..... we got 114 points.

Pic 3: Got a lots of balls...... Big, small, soft, ..... for bound with it, for shooting....

Pic 4: Balls pool..... shouldn't let him play in there.....regret

Pic 5: Air gun ball shooting. Nic like this the most.

Pic 6: A machine that can blow all balls up.

Pic 7: A machine that can blow & hold the balls in the air

Pic 8: A machine that can suck all balls up and a blower will blow the balls down like rain. Not function very well though.

Pic 9: Small slide, big slide.....

Pic 10: The camera will light up when nic step on the food print.

Pic 11: Lots of hanging ball, poles, etc for kids to push around. All pole, corners, floor is well protected. Good

Pic 12: Etc......

The game that Nic like the most is the shooting. Nic aim at the animal board and so happy when he got the hole. My part in this game is to pick up the balls & past to him (have to be fast enough). and also jun & clap hand if he got the hole.

Second is the big slide, I think is because it is very fast.

Very very tired..........